"Keep quiet or I'll lock you in the dryer!"

Hey, Welcome to my carrd. My name is Richie, but I also go by Vincent, Habit, Five and Rodrick. I don't mind either name but being called by my kin names makes me super happy! I am masc-leaning non-binary, so use they/them, he/him or it/its for me please! I'm gay but may be bisexual, I also use the terms: toric/nblm and nblnb! I'm 15 and my birthday is November 21st. I fluctuate between two MBTI types, ENTP-T and INTJ-T. I am in a relationship with my amazing boyfriend, Ryan (17/2/18). Lovemail is below, to read it, click the Jeremy gif.

I AM ALSO THE HOST OF A RECENTLY DISCOVERED SYSTEM.

There are 14 of us, but two have possibly gone dormant. (Probably more to be discovered)

Our system account is @themoonlightcollective

Here are their accounts:

Ophelia- @cottageteaparty
Aqua- @b.utterflybby
Stan- @birdcageloser
Firebrand- @r0gueg0d
Allison- @youheardarumor
Milo- @journalofmilo

List of currently known headmates:
Valerie Duke (Dormant)
Ophelia Blossom
Aqua Hayes
Stanley Uris
Firebrand/Noah Maxwell
Ayumi (Dormant)
Milo Asher
Allison Hargreeves
Ren Hana
Cain Zeitgeist
Sano Kojima
Prebrand
Dakota

Click the Löded Diper logo to continue.

❤︎ "I think you have a bright future.." ❤︎

Hey, Eddie Spaghetti. Did you know you're the love of my life? Did you know I would do anything for you no matter how harsh of a consequence it comes with? Did you know you're IRL Eddie Kaspbrak? Did you know you're IRL Sal Fisher? Did you know you're IRL James? Did you know you're IRL Forty Quinn? Did you know you're IRL Greg Heffley?
I hope you know, because it's all true. Every word I'll ever say to you will be true to the end. I know things can be difficult for you sometimes, but I know you can get through it! You're so much stronger than you think you are, and if you ever need help, I'll take care of you. I'll drop everything to help you. You make every painful day or even week worth it. Talking to you lifts a massive weight off of my shoulders. I forget what was even bothering me the second I hear your voice. Nobody else is capable of that but you. Hearing your voice after going through any horrible emotion makes me feel so much better in an instant. Your voice is so comforting to me, even if you don't believe me when I say that. I know that when we meet for the first time, it's going to be more than amazing. It'll be beyond fun, beyond any describable word. We will do so much together. I specifically can't wait for us to cosplay together. I've said this a few times before but I definitely believe that we have been in love in every single past life. You truly mean everything to me, you give me motivation everyday, you give me a reason to keep going with everything, you're my reason to change. I love that whenever I see any of my kins with another character, I can immediately tell that they're us. Every single comfort character I have, I associate with you, especially Forty. You're just so perfect in every way, you're what I have been missing for so long. I never want to let you go, Eds.

If you are one of Eddie's alters, click the gif of Rodrick!

Ryan lovemail below.

Here it is! Some love and appreciation for Eddie's alters!
Quick warning that I am very anxious about meeting new people so please forgive me if I seem nervous when we meet!

Charlotte, Susan Heffley- You're the only one of Eddie's alters who I have met so far. You do so much to help Eddie and take care of the body and I admire you for that. You're one of the sweetest people I know and I definitely look forward to getting closer with you. I consider you my mom already. You're really amazing!

Asher, Frank Heffley- I haven't met you yet, but you seem really cool! From what I've heard from Eddie, you're pretty rad. We don't even have to meet to know that I like you. I'm waiting patiently for the time where we get to talk to each other! However, you kin Pennywise and that is very intimidating. /j
The way you type is so funky it makes me happy.

Honey, Manny Heffley- There's a low chance of you ever seeing this and a low chance of meeting you, but I would do anything for you. I would protect you with my entire being. I love you Honey, you're the only acceptable Manny. I'm very glad to know that you look up to me! It makes me happy to know that there's someone who sees me that way.

Karma, no pitykins yet!- I also have not met you personally, we had very brief interactions through comments but the way you type is so cute... It gives me scene kid vibes and I love that. Seeing people use faces like "^.^" makes me smile. You seem really nice and I look forward to finally getting to meet you along with everyone else!

"Good morning, time to start the day!"

Hey Ryan, I will admit that things have been very rocky recently, we have barely been talking to each other at all, and I am mostly at fault for that. My emotions have been very all over the place and confusing, but despite this I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to be stuck hurting alone. We may not be talking as much, but I do sincerely have feelings for you from what I know during the past two years.
I love you. Things are iffy between us right now but that's okay, we will get back on track soon enough. We will get through this despite everything that has happened up until this point. It will not be like this forever. Throughout the past two years, we have made many grave mistakes, however, we have both changed, even if only slightly. You are not a bad person. We are human, we make mistakes, but those mistakes are things we learn from. Our past mistakes don't define who we are now. It's the past for a reason. We change everyday. Even small changes like opinions or viewpoints add to a big change.
But I hope you know that you're my favourite person.
In the words of you, my Jeremy, we're never not gonna be a team.

Here are my interests, my hyperfixations are separated from my normal interests as I consider them to be more special! PLEASE talk to me about my hyperfixations!

Hyperfixations
Slenderverse (TribeTwelve/EverymanHYBRID)
It
You
Diary of A Wimpy Kid
The Umbrella Academy
Bo Burnham


Interests
Minecraft
Lollipop Chainsaw
Danganronpa
Doki Doki Literature Club
Beyond You!
Happy Sugar Life
Heathers (Movie/Musical)
I Am Not Okay With This
Scott Pilgrim
Oliver Tree
Be More Chill
The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals
Beetlejuice
Little Shop of Horrors

Ryan, @not_spoopy_lazercord- You're my romantic Jeremy, my boyfriend. I love you, a lot.


Venice, @umxmi- MAN you've been so nice to me these past two years, I love u man I give u kiss.....good god man, you almost got the cheese touch

Angelo, @tardigrade___- Bro, when I first met you, I did NOT expect you to be the way you actually turned out to be, your instagram left me shaken, but it was in a good way, because I knew we'd be good friends, and we still are.

Esme, @_bean.is.here._- Our friendship is very complicated, sometimes I'm really not sure if you hate me or like me, you hurt my feelings often, but I know you mean it as a joke, I love you, stupid.

Erin, @catboy_nagito- If the stuff with Mitsuru didn't happen, I don't think we'd honestly be close at all. I'm glad that happened, honestly. I love u.

If I forgot to add you, please DM me about it!

Here are my kins. I do NOT condone the actions of my problematic kins. I kin to cope, please ask about them before judging.

Key:
❤︎-Doubles Loved
✔︎-Doubles Okay
シ-Doubles Iffy
☮︎︎-Exceptions possible
☠︎︎-No doubles at ALL

Me IRL
These are delusions. Absolutely no doubles unless you are a current mutual or a fictive. (Ordered by delusion strength)

☠︎︎Habit (EverymanHYBRID)
☠︎︎ Five Hargreeves
☠︎︎ Rodrick Heffley
☠︎︎ Richie Tozier (All Versions + Neibolt)
☠︎︎ Michael Mell

IDs
シ☮︎︎ Steve Harrington
☠︎︎ Joe Goldberg (COPING KIN)
シ Alyssa Foley (TEOTFW)

Selfhood
☠︎︎☮︎︎ Pink Diamond (COPING KIN)
シ☮︎︎ Louis (TWDG)
Ian McKinley
Bradley Lewis

High Kins
✔︎シ Jim Halpert
☠︎︎ Darkiplier
シ Professor Hidgens
シ Dr. Robotnik
シ Catra
✔︎ Jade West
シ Peko Pekoyama

Mid kins
シ Observer/Kevin Haas
シ Evan Jennings (EverymanHYBRID)
✔︎ Sydney Novak (IANOWT)
シ Blame/Sebastian Hernandez
✔︎❤︎Sam Phitts
✔︎ Elmer Phitts
✔︎❤︎ Tim Wright/Masky
✔︎ Ilosovic Stayne/Knave of Hearts
シ James (TWDG)
✔︎ Jason Dean (COPING KIN)
✔︎ Robbie Shapiro
❤︎ James (TEOTFW)
✔︎ Alex Vause
✔︎ Lorna Morello
✔︎ Red (OITNB)
✔︎ Red Mist (Kick-Ass)

+ UNLISTED LOW KINS

Pitykins
✔︎ Cass Wizard
✔︎ Arisa Uotani
❤︎ Seymour Krelborn

Joke Kins
These are 100% jokes/inside jokes. Do NOT take these kins seriously, especially factkins.

Joker (Joker 2019)
Chris Hansen
Alvin Seville
Filthy Frank
Bo Burnham
Fred Figglehorn
Vinekin
The Cat in The Hat
Shayne Topp

These are my triggers. Please do not bring these up unless I am willingly talking about them. Please censor names written here. Click the gif of Rodrick at the bottom of this page for my explanation on these triggers.

Most of these make me heavily dissociate, make me feel sick or cause me to have a panic attack. So please avoid mentioning them.

High Triggers
-Cheating in relationships
-The names Zane/Fran and Sam.
-October 2018
-Eddie Kaspbrak's death (It Chapter 2 + Miniseries)
-Being called toxic/bad person/told I haven't changed


Mid Triggers
-The names Paige, Ryland and Haley
-Forced/unconsentual/secret polyamory or mentions of toxic polyamory
-"I Can't Handle Change" - Roar/R.O.A.R

Low Triggers
-Fakeclaiming my system
-"My Immortal" - Evanescence
-The nickname d*ll or d*llface

The name Cassidy and the phrase aroace is also a discomfort which relates to two of the triggers above.

Quick PSAs
I am constantly working to better myself. Please do not provoke me or bring up old issues as I wish to move past these so I can finally "grow up".

If I have harmed you in any way, please confront me. I need this information so I can figure out my issues and deal with them properly.

I struggle with depression, ADHD, anger issues and heavy impulses, if I ever say anything rude or something that makes you uncomfortable, I don't mean it. I genuinely don't realize how harmful the thing I said could've been until it's too late for me to apologize. It's a strong urge to do and say these things, and it's difficult for me not to do it because it's overwhelming. If I'm overwhelmed at all, leave me be for a bit. I might unintentionally lash out. I have no way of properly conveying my emotions and letting them out at home, it gets pent up and it bursts sometimes, it happens with any emotion.

If I ever vent to you and it makes you uncomfortable, please tell me, I'll know to ask first.

I am suspected to have autism and I am working to get a diagnosis on this and other issues. I have heavy symptoms of most of these, but I cannot say for sure that I have this, but please be patient with me. I often do things wrong and I don't understand why it's bad but I will apologize for these things despite this.

I have low empathy. I struggle to understand peoples issues and emotions. I am either apathetic, numb or hypersensitive, meaning I feel extremely empathetic but it's rare. I may do/say things I don't mean but I will apologize for it at a later time. I struggle with intrusive thoughts alongside this which I will often post about. This does NOT mean I enjoy harming people emotionally/physically. The thought of harming someone innocent or for fun is VERY distressing to me.

If you ever need trigger warnings, let me know. It’s best to let me know of your triggers so I can avoid accidentally triggering you.

Cheating- Every relationship I have been in long-term, I have been cheated on at least once. I'm not sure as to why I am drawn to people like this and why I don't want to leave them when it happens, but it's an awful loop of toxic love. I feel sick when I hear anything about cheating. I struggle with relationships and trust because of this. I genuinely cannot stand anything to do with cheating and I have the worst panic attacks because of this. I do not take anything about cheating lightly. Do not bring this up around me. I will feel sick for hours on end and feel like I’m reliving some of things that happened involving cheating.

S*m, Z*ne/Fr*n- I go into INSANE panic when I hear or see these names. A pit in my stomach forms, my stomach drops, I feel sick, I go into a panic attack. Due to the fact that I haven't been able to show that I'm upset in my own house, my panic attacks are very internal. I will cry, I will have pained whimpers come through, but most of it is very internal. I feel like I'm reliving trauma when they're brought up. It reminds me that it wasn't that long ago. I want to puke when I see anything to do with them. I even throw up when I see specific phrases that were used when it came to them. Cassidy was a cheater and my first girlfriend, we dated when I was 9 until I was around 11. I went emotionally numb before I even turned 12.
S*m and Z*ne were victims of cheating too, however, this situation was extremely traumatic for me, that they're triggering as they were involved. S*m was innocent, however, my boyfriend loved her. He talked about how he missed her and she'd never be with him again. Every time I heard these things, I felt nauseous. I even threw up instantly at some things. Z*ne was manipulative and would gaslight me. They made me seem like the horrible person and crammed negative thoughts into my head and victim blamed me for getting cheated on. They told me he would never love me again and that I ruined their chances with him and everyone else's chances with him. My experience with them was extremely traumatic for me.

Joking about cheating in relationships or that the person I’m dating doesn’t love me.- I’ve struggled with dealing with cheating in relationships too often and it deteriorates my mental health significantly. I have self-worth issues and I’m extremely self-conscious. I’m never not worrying about being hated or thinking about how I can fix myself to be liked. I’ve struggled with believing that I’m actually liked and loved since October 2018. Joking about it or jokingly saying my partner is cheating is NOT funny. I start panicking and search through EVERYTHING for evidence and feel ill when I struggle to find it. It hurts me.. so much.

October 2018- Bringing up the “October event”.- It correlates to Z*ne and S*m. That time was the worst for me mentally and it’s makes me physically sick to think about it.


Eddie Kaspbrak's Death- A strange one, yes, but I have an explanation. My strongest kin delusion is for Richie. I have vivid kin memories as him and seeing Eddie's death is like watching a family members death therefore, it gets a physical reaction out of me and I have to actively evade the ending to avoid the reaction. I have memories of this happening, so please don't show me it.

Being called toxic/bad person/etc.- I have been working on bettering myself for the past few years. I am aware I have issues. I am aware that there are things wrong with me. However, hearing people say these things about me makes me have breakdowns. It makes me think all the effort I've gone through didn't actually happen and I've been making no progress on myself. I panic at the thought of being unloved, unliked and alone for the rest of my life, whether relationship-wise or friendship-wise. I panic when I think about the fact that I may not ever change. I've heard these things repeatedly from many people including my own mother. Please, please refrain from telling me these things. It legitimately makes me want to sob because I really want to improve myself and being told I haven't changed/I got worse/I'm toxic hurts so much.

"I Can't Handle Change" by ROAR- This song as so many bad memories and emotions tied to it. It was used as a vent song that I repeatedly listened to during this time. It ties in with Z*ne. I don't like hearing this song because of the memories that flood back. Please do NOT play this song around me. It can be slightly mentioned, but please don't play it.

"My Immortal" by Evanescence- This song is tied to Cassidy, the root of my cheating trauma. I think it's self-explanatory as to why this song is on the list.

MORE TBA

This is my DNI.
Ask to follow if you go by the names:
-Zane
-Fran
-Sam
-Haley
-Paige
-Ryland
DNI if you kin any of my no doubles kins or kins that are selfhood and above.
DNI if you fit the basic DNI criteria.
DNI if you're following to spy on me.
DNI if you're following to make fun of me and my kins.
DNI if you have personal issues with anyone on my friends list.
DNI if you are going to maliciously use my triggers against me.
DNI if you're a MAP or a cheater.

You've made it all the way to the password!
The password to get accepted is:
"Does he know about the D-O-R-E?"

Read again?